My mum would be ashamed

 I have for a long time been trying to write something about my adoption but I have found it an almost impossible task to do.  I have never been ashamed of my adoption, in fact I have always been extremely proud of  my adoption and have never tried to hide it.  It is part of who I am and I could not have asked for more loving and caring parents who gave me every opportunity they could.
They were always proud of me and of how I coped with challenges of living and working with Cerebral Palsy (CP).
My Mum over the years became disillusioned.  For many years I have been treated like an outsider in my own family and it still continues after her death in 2014.  On many occasions she tried to tackle the issues but never got anyway but in her heart of hearts she knew what they were.
She always wanted my brother and me to be close and as children we were but that closeness died some years ago.  She hope that he would be there for me when they were no longer around but that is not going to happen, it's just as well I have such wonderful friends who have become my family.
It is funny how things happen and I believe that the universe plays a part in destiny. I apparently have a great-niece called Grace who I only found out about yesterday (8th) who was born five weeks ago but no one thought I like to know; but I'm not family I forgot.

Today I got the biggest insult of all through the post and that was an invitation to a reception to celebrate his marriage.  Being as I am his only sister and I am the sole representative of parents who are no longer here. I just assumed it would be the full invitation.  I have RSVP to say I cannot attend because I am unable to find suitable disabled hotel accommodation nearby and as I cannot travel long distances (he lives 200 miles away)  I cannot go but it would have been nice to have been asked.  That just affirms  everything that my mum knew and what I have known for many years but didn't want to.
I have my family, my friends who love and care for me and accept me for who I am and that is all I need.  They do not see adoption or disability as a stigma but I cannot say the same for my family.  I just have to move on from this otherwise it will eat me up.  I have so much in life to look forward to and so much positivity around me.  I don't know what the future holds but I know I am loved by all my friends.

My Handbag Collection

For as far back as I can remember I have always had a mini obsession with handbags.  They don't have to be expensive (but they often are!), but have to be interesting enough to grab my attention in their design, colour and material.  
I do have a particular interest in vintage handbags especially the Art Deco period and I have been able to purchase a couple of original 1930's handbags from a vintage clothing and accessories shop near to where I live called "Past Caring".  It was established in1988 and sells authentic vintage items specialising in 1900's - 1960's clothing, accessories and jewellry. 

The first of my handbags was a 1930's evening bag which was in near mint condition and is covered in silver gelatin sequins which I knew nothing about until I did some research online.  I discovered that in the 1930's a process to electroplate gelatin produced a lighter-weight version of the metal disc.  There is one problem with the gelatin sequins and that is that they disolve if come in contact with water or even sweat from a hand.  As you can imagine this bag only comes out on high days and holidays and I ihave used it once on my last cruise and it survived intact.  It is one of my favourite evening bags just because it has survived so long and is in wonderful condition and it shows that someone loved and cared for it because it is still here seventy odd years later and I intend to be its custodian for my lifetime.  
Having such a wonderful vintage clothes shop in my vicinity is deadly as I can't resist just popping in to see if there is anything new that will interest me.  My second Art Deco handbag was also purchased from the same shop in March 2015.  The bag is Black satin and has beautiful floral designs on the front and reverse in sequins and pearls.  It is in excellent condition for its age and again this bag was much loved by its previous owner and went on my last cruise, it is a bag that can go with several outfits.  
Over the past year I have popped into "Past Caring" and from time to time I have picked up the odd item but nothing major until yesterday (16th March) when I was in Holt having lunch with friends and we thought we would just pop in to the shop.  At first nothing caught my eye until an Art Deco bag was pointed out to me by my friend Karen and if it had not been brown (it looked black in the display) I would have bought it. 

Yellow vintage bag with Kate Spade Bag

However, sitting on a corner display was a lovely bright yellow box bag made from rafia with silver metal and detail and pale green interior.  It is from the 1960's and I know that is a bit later than what I usually like but it is fun and quirky and in near mint condition, it does not have any labelling but is extremely well made and has obviously been well looked after.  It is more a day bag, a summer bag and it makes me smile so it is definately cruise bound.  

Not all bags that I cruise with are vintage and I have just acquired a new clutch bag form Accessorize which is ivory in colour and exquisitely embellished with faux pearls, jewels, sequins and scores of beads.  It also has a wrist strap.  I first saw this bag a few days back in-store but it was damaged and sadly this is often the case with this retailer and so what I have learnt to do is to order online and have items delivered.  My new bag arrived in perfect condition and is another addition to my cruise bag collection.  
My last and final bag is my Kate Spade bag which is now sixteen years old and was purchased from SAKS on Fith Avenue when I was in New York in 2000 with my Mum, it was a gift from her.  It is a beautiful deep red colour and is only used on special occasions and taking on a cruise seems to fit the bill.  This bag can be used as both a day bag or evening bag and adapts to any occasion.
I could go on and on about my handbag collection, I have had so many over years that I have lost count but I wanted to share just a few that have a special place in my heart.  Some are expensive but others arn't it is their design, colour or even history that attracts me.

Your Cruise Wardrobe

Having a good and versitile wardrobe is essential in making a good cruise into a fantastic cruise.  Everyone has their own idea of what makes a good wardrobe and for me it is having a good selection of formal gowns, cocktail dresses, evening casual, day wear and beachwear to choose from.  It should include classic, timeless designs that can be worn again and again.  It has taken us around eight years to create and grow our cruise wardrobe and it does include several formal gowns from our first cruise which we still used to this day. 

New bag for 2016 cruise

Our wardrobe also includes a large selection of evening bags and on a 14-day cruise I will normally take 3-5 while Karen takes 1-2 staple bags.  When it comes to bags there is no right or wrong but what just suits you.  
Shoes is something that you need to think about.  For evening wear we usually have 2-3 pairs each.  When it comes to day wear I would suggest you consider what activities you are planning on doing.  If you are going to do a lot of walking off ship I would suggest you wear an old pair of comfy shoes, sandals or trainers that you know are not going to give you blisters.  
It is now just under 8 weeks until our next cruise and having a cruise rail or wardrobe makes life so much easier.  By this time you should know how many formal nights your cruise will have and on a 14 night cruise and there will typically be 4 formal and 10 evening casual.  One of the formal nights is always a black and white night.  Many ladies typically have a black dress and use white accessories such as a handbag, jacket, shoes or gloves.  Formal attire for men it is a penquin suit (tuxedo), dress uniform or national dress.  
For me the dressing up is a something I enjoy doing and look forward to the formal nights.  If you do not want to adhere to the ships dress codes you will not normally be allowed to dine in the restaurants and will have to eat in the self-service food courts.  There are several cruise lines that have abolish formal dress code and they are:  

• Azmara Club Cruises  

• NCL

• Oceania Cruises  

• Windstar Cruises 

Everyone has their own idea of what is an appropriate dress for evening casual and when I have been asked my advice is to wear an outfit that you feel comfortable in, having eating room is essential.  Wear an outfit that you would normally wear if you were going to a nice restaurant that would be my advice to first time cruisers.  
What clothes you pack are often defined by the type of cruise and destinations you will be visiting.  Sunny destinations like the Caribbean you will pack more beachwear and somewhere like the Baltic you may pack more day wear.  My advice would be that if you are cruising during the summer months I would take a mix of both because there are sea days on whatever cruise you choose.  Also be aware of what clothes are approprate when visiting different countries.  Shorts and skimpy tops may not be appropriate when visiting religious sites.
When we started cruising we didn't know what a cruise wardrobe was but it is something that you quickly pick up especially if you intend to continue cruising.  It does take time to built up your wardrobe but once you started it does become an invaluable asset.  It is not just the dresses or suits but it is also the accessories that can embellish your outfits. 

Just stepped up gear!

Today I feel as if we have stepped up a gear in preparation for our cruise A615. Most of the important information is already in the online cruise peronaliser but there was just one or two things that we have to complete before P&O will issue our E-tickets in approximately five weeks time.
Travel insurance details was one thing we had to input, although we had purchased it many weeks ago it always seems to be the last piece of document details that we actually put on.  It could possibly be because P&O ask for a telephone number and from what we can see there could be three so we have plumped for a main number.
I don't know about you but I create a folder for every cruise that we go on.  I print off every piece of paperwork that relates to the current cruise and that includes the travel insurance documents, booking confirmation, Maps, port information, E-tickets plus much more.  I believe you can never have enough information.

Epicurean Restaurant on Azura

The other thing that we wanted to do in advance was to reserve a table for dinner in Azura's Epicurean Restaurant, as this reataurant is popular it is best to make a reservation before your cruise.  We usually like to book a table mid-cruise so for us that is 11th June.  However, that night there is a Euro 2016 football match between England v Russia and as we will be leaving St Peterburg that night we assume that the match will be shown on board; I will be suprised if it isn't.  Because we want to see the match we were sitting last night working out the time difference between England and Russia as +3 hours which means that we have plenty of time to have dinner before kick-off which we have worked out as 11pm (Russian time).  There is a additional surcharge of £28.00pp which is well worth it and they apply your teir discount on top which does make it even less.  We have dined in the Epicurean Restaurant on board Britannia and it was amazing.  The one to one attention and the food ideas and the way your food is presented makes the surcharge well worth it and I would highly recommend it.
The other thing we wanted to do is look for an excursion that let us do our own thing and we found one in Copenhagen which is "free time in three sites".  I think it is self explanatory and we booked that as well.  I'm not sure what else we may book we will do some more research first I think before deciding. 

 

Suites, mini suites and mobility scooters!!

I suppose this post is continuing on from my last one about disabiity and accessibility on board P&O's fleet.  I have previously mentioned that I had been told that when Carnival reshuffled it was decided that a dedicated disability team was no longer required and that their customer service could answer any disability related questions; I disagree with this decision and can prove it does not work.
I believe it was around the time of the reshuffle that P&O decided that disabled passengers who used a mobility scooter could no longer take then on-board unless they had an accessible cabin or another cabin that was deemed suitable and in most cases these are non adapted suites and mini suites.  The reason for this decision I understand was purely for health and safety.
I am not a fan of the mobility scooter but I feel that it is unfair on passengers who use a scooter to move around and wish to stay loyal to P&O.  I believe that their choice of cabin has been away and has obviously restricted their choice of ship and cruise as many of them cannot afford the price of suites and mini suites.
Arcadia, does not have any accessible accommodation that is suitable for a full-time wheelchair or mobility scooter users as none of their cabins are large enough to manoeuvre around.  However, they do have 51 non adapted cabins that are suites and mini suites. The ship also has 11 partially adapted cabins in grades from suites to larger inside cabins.
Aurora, does have 22 cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from balcony cabins to inside cabins.  The ship also offers 30 non adapted cabins that are suitable for mobility scooters in suite and mini suite grades.
Sister ships the Azura and Ventura each offer 31 adapted cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in cabin grades from a suite to inside cabins.  Both ships also offer 27 non adapted suites which are suitable for mobility scooter users.
Oriana only has 8 outside cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users. However, she has 24 non adapted suites and mini suites that are suitable for mobility scooter users.
Oceana offers19 adapted cabins which are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from a mini suite to inside cabin.  She has 38 non adapted suites and mini suites that are suitable for use by mobility scooters users.
Britannia, P&O's flagship offers 37 adapted cabins that are suitable for both full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from suites to inside cabins.  They also offer 44 non adapted suites that are suitable for mobility scooters users.
Any passenger who is disabled knows that adapted cabins sell out very quickly, usually as soon as a cruise goes on sale and as adapted cabns are very limited in number it means that they would have to swallow the cost of higher grade cabins and suites or go with another cruise company. 
When P&O introduced this new rule I was so furious that they were taking away a passengers choice of cabin and I actually moved away from P&O even though I use a manual wheelchair and the new rule did not apply to me. I went and did several cruises with RCI.  RCI do not have any rules regarding the use of scooters and we never found them to be a pest while on board "Indy".

Open wardrobe on Britannia

What does bother me is that this could be the start of a trend; starting with scooters.  At the moment I am able to manage in a standard cabin with a shower and my manual wheelchair folds small enough to fit in the open wardrobe area.  I do not require space to manoeuvre a wheelchair around the cabin.  When booking a cruise I go no higher in grade than a balcony for the simple reason that the higher grades often come with a bathtub and overhead shower.  I am unable to get in and out of a bathtub safely.  So if P&O brought in a rule regarding manual wheelchairs I would not be able to stay loyal to P&O and would not hesitate in going back to RCI or another cruise line.
I know this topic often comes up on boards and forums and I do feel sorry for mobility scooter users especially when some scooters fold up as small as a manual whelchairs and yet they are still not allowed on-board P&O's fleet.  If I was a scooter owner I would want answers as it does seem a little bit unfair.  If they were to say no manual wheelchairs on-board I believe this would be one step too far; something I don't think they can afford to do. 
I am only able to use a manual wheelchair because I have friends who can push me when I get too tired but if I had no one to push me I would have to rely on a mobility scooter and I feel that my choices should not be compromised should I use a scooter in the future.  It would be nice if one day this rule on mobility scooters could be reversed but I doubt that will ever happen.  I have been on four of the ships in the P&O fleet and they all have something different that makes them special and unique and will remain loyal but loyalty is a two way thing. 

Disability Factsheet?

Last year after returniing from our cruise on P&O's Britannia I had a few comments and suggestions that I felt P&O needed to hear that could improve accessibility not only on this ship but also other ships in the fleet.
Whilst on our 14 day cruise I wondered at times if I was the only disabled passenger who felt that there was a lack of information regarding accessibility around the ship but after my friend met a struggling visually impaired passenger struggling with the stairs between Deck 17 and Deck 18 apparently not.  This meeting happened nearing the end of the cruise and this passenger was not aware that there was a disabled lift that would take her between these decks and said that it was a shame that noone had told her of this lifts existance at the beginning of the cruise.  This passenger could so easily had fallen down these stairs.

Disabled lift on Deck 17

This lift was not origionally indicated on deck plans for Britannia in 2015 it just showed an empty space.  I only found out about its existance because of my dogged determination.  When I book a cruise I research everything that I can including the ships deck plans and from looking at Britannia's I could see that the lifts stopped at Deck 17 and that access to Deck 18 was via stairs.  I had read somewhere online that she was fully accessible so therefore there must be a way up to Deck 18.  I called P&O's customer service as I thought they would know for sure.  I have to say that they have some of the rudest customer service staff that I have ever come across.  I had to make several calls before someone explained that they have a disabled team who you cannot talk to but they would try and find out if someone knew about access.  The person did come back and explained to me exactly where to locate a lift.  She also told me that they did not want to make it public knowledge because they did not want all and sundry using it.

When I was on Britannia one of the first things we did was to check that the information was correct and that the lift was there.  As you can see from my photographs it does exist.  As you can clearly see it does not look like a lift door and most people mistook it for a crew entrance; that's why we got a few weird looks from fellow passengers.
I have sailed on Azura (2010) and Ventura (2011) and we are sailing again on Azura in June this this year and like Britannia their deck plans do not show that there is a platform lift between Azura's Aqua Deck and Sun Deck and Ventura's Sun Deck and Sports Deck.  I was told by a fellow passenger on Azura in 2010 that there was a small platform lift for the use of disabled guests. 

I unfortunately do not have photographs but this image is representative of what it looks like.  This lift can be found on both ships if you walk around Breakers Bar and round towards the Ivory Suite you will see a small glass lift that is large enough for one wheelchair and one standing person.
As I have previously said on returning home after my cruise on Britannia I contacted P&O with comments and suggestions  about accessibility on the ship and I have to say that I did got pushed from pillar to post with no answers and offered £100 OBC for my next cruise for my trouble.  Unsatisfied with the treatment I received from P&O's customer care I found an email for Christopher Edgington (Marketing Director, P&O) and started communicating with him.  Eventually I was passed onto a person who is a disability advisor for P&O and she has told me herself that she does not have any contact with customers as their customer service people could answer all questions relating to disability and accessibility.  I told her that was an error in judgement because I had tried and they know very little.    Something like knowing the position of disabled lifts on their fleet of ships is not rocket science. 
One suggestion I had was that P&O could produced a factsheet for every ship in their fleet detailing information such as the position of lifts for use by disabled passengers. A factsheet for the ship that a person is sailing on could be emailed to them once they have  submitted a disability questionnaire.  I have to say that I was told that this would be costly?  How much does it cost to produce a word document that details ship information and is them emailed out. Answer is minimal.  It is not as if the information is waiting for you in your cabin when you board.  The only contact I ever get when I am on board is contact from the excursions team trying to sell me an over priced accessible tour.
In conclustion I have to say that when I first started crusing there was a dedicated disability number that you could call and their team was very knowledgable and helpful but as I have been told that when P&O reshuffled several years ago they felt that a dedicated disability team was not required as their customer service could answer disability related questions.  I strongly disagree.  I am very passionate about equality and the more I see that is unjust the more I will complain, I may be disabled and what I may lack in movement I make up for in voice.

What is important to you when looking for a cruise

What do you look for when booking your next cruise is a question I have been asked on many occasions and my answer has changed since our first cruise in 2008.
In 2007 I had been medically retired from the Civil Service and unable to fly I was looking for an alternative holiday and to take a cruise was the obvious choice.  We always took our main holiday in the autumn or winter and nearly always to the Canary Islands and so that was our starting point.

Overlooking Funchal, Madeira. 1st December 2008

At this time I had only really heard of P&O, Cunard, RCI and NCL.  I started with the cruise line I knew the most about and that was P&O and looked through their brochure and found a cruise that ticked the boxes, "Canaries Carousel" a 13 night cruise stopping at 7 ports.  For this cruise we had booked an oceanview cabin.
Cruising isn't for everybody and it is often described as being "marmite"; you either love it or hate it and I think that is true.  I always say that on our first cruise we struck gold because at dinner we were seated with a lovely lady called Jean and she was a seasoned cruiser of over 200+ cruises and during our time on board we learnt so much from her and we will be forever grateful.  As she said everyone has to take their first cruise and now we are the ones being asked questions by first time cruisers.
For us the destination isn't always as important as the ship.  We do have our favourite ships and for us that is P&O's Azura (2010 & 2016) and RCI's Independance of the Seas (2013 & 2014).  Every ship is different for instance P&O's Aurora was a lovely ship and not

Floral display in Aurora's Atrium

too big either and although it is a familiy ship we felt it suited the older traveller.  Azura and Ventura (2011) are sister ships and are much bigger with a livelier atmosphere and are much more suited to the younger cruiser and family market.  Britannia is an even bigger ship and for me she just did not have that "wow" factor and is 4 star at best.  Whoever said she is 5 star has never stayed in 5 star hotels; I have.  It felt as if we were in a shopping mall and not a very good one.  Especially when the Micheal Kors sales representative said they liked my fake Micheal Kors watch, my watch is 100% genuine and I told him so.
One other ship that stole my heart was RCI's independance of the Sea. Her crew were the friendliest I have come across and nothing was too much trouble.
Some passengers like or are supersticious and like to stay in the same cabin whenever possible.  For us this will be the third time we have stayed in cabin E225, which is graded as an obstructed outside but you actually can see a lot as the life boat only comes a quarter up the window.  We have had balcony cabins in the past and like most people we are hardly in there just for sleeping and changing for dinner.  We learnt early on that regular or seasoned cruisers tend to go for the cheaper or inside cabins so that they can do more cruises and only on special occasions do they splash out.  For us the type of ship plays a part, some people prefer adult only while others like us like family ships.

The Retreat on Azura

However, we do like adult only spaces such as The Retreat on Azura and Ventura but I still like to hear the laughter of kiddies having fun.  I have to say that the childrens clubs do a fantastic job as the children are never a nuisence.  We have not done an adult only ship yet because I think they would be too stuffy for my liking.  I maybe in my early 50's but I am very much young at heart.
The ships facilities can play a big part when choosing your next cruise. For us it is having an adult only space with a swimming pool.  Having a spa with treatments.  Having a wide choice of live music and entertainment is a must.  We like fine cuisine and look for a good selection of speciality restaurants.  On Ventura we have eaten in The White Room and on Britannia we dined in the Epicurean (amazing!).  We like to go to the casino after a show and play Roulette or go for a walk around the promenade.

Promenade Deck

Britannia was the first ship that we have sailed on that does not have what I call a proper promenade deck.  Her deck was on the top of the ship on deck 18 (sports deck) and it does not work at all.  It doesn't matter if it is a beautiful sunny day it is always breezy and there is no shelter from the elements.  I think we only went up a couple of times just for a stroll but it wasn't very pleasant.  Promenade decks are meant to be places where you can take a pew and simply just sit back and watch the world go by or read a book, have a glass of wine or just have a good old fashioned cup of tea!  When we were on Britannia I think other passengers missed this feature as I heard a lot of chatter about it.

Dining options have changed since our first cruise on Aurora where we had two options club dining and select dining to choose from.  Club dining has two sittings 6:30pm or 8:30pm and you dine with the same passengers every night while select dining is where you book speciality restaurants and pay a small surcharge for doing so.  Ships also offer a buffet style restaurant which is open all day and late into the early hours.  In 2010 we saw the introduction of freedom dining which gives you more flexibility when you wish to eat and is included in the price of your cruise.  Over the last six years we have seen this option become more and more popular and we actually chose to try freedom dining for the first time last year on Britannia and thoroughly enjoyed it so much that we have chosen to do it on our next cruise in June.
One thing that we really enjoy is the formal nights and love dressing up, but not everyone feels the same.  When we first started cruising there were three dress codes, formal, semi-formal and smart casual but in recent years most ships just have two, formal and evening casual.  There are cruise lines that don't adhere to any dress codes and thats ok it you like that kind of cruise but I don't.

Our cabin on Britannia

people who have never cruised often have a preconceived idea of the type of person who goes cruising.  They often assume that we are wealthy or upper class and that is very far from the real truth.  That was the case many years ago when ships had classes but that is not the case with modern cruising.  I often tell people that the accommodation side is very much like a modern hotel where you can have anything from a standard room (inside cabin) upto a suite with many grades in between and at dinner (freedom and club) your table companions can be anyone on the cruise.  It can make for interesting conversations. 
There is so much I could say about what I look for in a cruise but everyone of us is different and we all want different things.  For me it is to have a fabulous holiday going somewhere warm or of interest without having to fly.  Cruises are all inclusive (apart from drinks), the food is usually a extremely high standard, it is safe for children and everyone can do as much as they want or as little.  All cruise lines have extremely good sites and can answer most questions you may have, but like everything you won't know if you like it unless you give it a go.