My mum would be ashamed

 I have for a long time been trying to write something about my adoption but I have found it an almost impossible task to do.  I have never been ashamed of my adoption, in fact I have always been extremely proud of  my adoption and have never tried to hide it.  It is part of who I am and I could not have asked for more loving and caring parents who gave me every opportunity they could.
They were always proud of me and of how I coped with challenges of living and working with Cerebral Palsy (CP).
My Mum over the years became disillusioned.  For many years I have been treated like an outsider in my own family and it still continues after her death in 2014.  On many occasions she tried to tackle the issues but never got anyway but in her heart of hearts she knew what they were.
She always wanted my brother and me to be close and as children we were but that closeness died some years ago.  She hope that he would be there for me when they were no longer around but that is not going to happen, it's just as well I have such wonderful friends who have become my family.
It is funny how things happen and I believe that the universe plays a part in destiny. I apparently have a great-niece called Grace who I only found out about yesterday (8th) who was born five weeks ago but no one thought I like to know; but I'm not family I forgot.

Today I got the biggest insult of all through the post and that was an invitation to a reception to celebrate his marriage.  Being as I am his only sister and I am the sole representative of parents who are no longer here. I just assumed it would be the full invitation.  I have RSVP to say I cannot attend because I am unable to find suitable disabled hotel accommodation nearby and as I cannot travel long distances (he lives 200 miles away)  I cannot go but it would have been nice to have been asked.  That just affirms  everything that my mum knew and what I have known for many years but didn't want to.
I have my family, my friends who love and care for me and accept me for who I am and that is all I need.  They do not see adoption or disability as a stigma but I cannot say the same for my family.  I just have to move on from this otherwise it will eat me up.  I have so much in life to look forward to and so much positivity around me.  I don't know what the future holds but I know I am loved by all my friends.