Adopted Through The Church of England

I can understand why bureaucracy is part of our lives and in my case it has protected me from birth.  I was adopted as a baby and when I felt the time was right I wanted to trace my birth mother,  it has been an uphill struggle for over eighteen years often with everything I try hitting a brick wall.  Like most adopted people I didn't feel a need to trace my birth mother until I hit my thirties and I contacted social services and started the ball rolling. 

I went and had an assessment that is a legal requirement before they issue you a form that entitles you to get your birth certificate.  Your adoption file holds all paperwork to do with your adoption and sometimes if your lucky your birth mother or family may have put in letters, but it my case there was only one piece of paper the Guardian-ad-litem's report on application to adopt.  It states that my birth mother Joan Irene Dawson at her interview said that she placed me for adoption through a Mrs Letts and gave an address because she was not in a position to bring me up in a satisfactory manner.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement because most of the information I had been told many years before by my adoptive parents.  I knew her name, her address and I was told it was done through the Church of England, which is now in doubt.  A few years ago I had exhausted all leads including her marriage to a gentleman with the surname of Whatley.  I understand they divorced in the 70's.

From my parents I had been told a few facts which now seem very odd after speaking to someone this morning on the phone.  I was born at the British Mother and Babies Hospital in Samuel Street Woolwich in November 1963 and ten days later I went home with my adoptive family.  I had no social worker pre or post adoption and my adoption went through in just over 18 weeks, I understand this is short period of time in the adoption procedure.

My mum had told me that my birth mother had become a nuisance being seen hanging around the area where they lived in Greenwich and she had left me presents of a layette pram set in yellow but also a present for my brother and a large sum of money which they were advised to return by who I don't know.

My baptism at St Alfege Church in Greenwich in April 1964 seems to have been complicated affair.  My godfather Canon Ronald Diss baptised me and this mysterious Mrs Letts was a godmother.  This is what I do not understand because she wasn't a family friend and when I pushed my parents they just clammed up.  I was also warned by people not too ask too many questions.

This morning in the phone conversation it was suggested it might have been a private adoption.  Which I understand is illegal and my parent wouldn't have had had kind of money.  I truly hope that that I get some answers this time.

My Vote to Make Britain Great Again

It was three weeks ago today that I voted by post on the EU Referendum and I am both happy and comfortable with the choice I made.  This referendum was not about choosing a political party but a yes or no on whether we stayed part of EU.

I made my choice to vote leave for many reasons.  One reason was I felt that the UK was very much ignored in Europe by the bureaucrats making the decisions without involving our government.  It often seemed that we were left out of discussions and fell into line and often compromised being told of decisions after they were made. They often talk of us being a strong powerhouse within Europe but it often doesn't feel like that with Brussels, France and Germany telling us what to do.  They would be the first to complain if we told them how to run their countries.

I consider myself to be British not European and like many people I am proud of my ancestry.  It is interesting that looking at the individual results and it is obvious that there is very much a divide in our country.  Like many communities that are rural I do feel very much isolated and ignored by all political parties.  Watching extensive media coverage this morning they talked about areas in the north that feel abandoned but Norfolk or Suffolk were never mentioned once except to show Great Yarmouth being in the top five areas to vote leave. Norwich was the only area in this region to vote remain.

Immigration like a lot of people was an issue for me and I do want control of our boarders back.

I am not stupid and I knew that our economy may take a battering for a while but I believe it will recover and we will be all the stronger for voting to leave I want the Great Britain that my parents and grandparents talked about.  I was only eight when the UK voted for the common market but I have now been able to vote for what I want for my country.

I was completely taken aback this morning when I checked my tablet for the result.  I like many leave supporters didn't think we would actually win and I feel that some of the fault must lie with Jeremy Corbyn.  Like many people I fell his campaign showed lackluster and unlike David Cameron who tried to rally his supporters I felt that Corbyn didn't really want to get involved in the remain campaign.

Finally, the decision has been made and there is no going back.  As a country we have to pull together and become the the great country we once were and can be again.  I have many friends who voted on both sides and instead of throwing mud it is time for us to pull together and become the country we are meant to be Great Britan!

My mum would be ashamed

 I have for a long time been trying to write something about my adoption but I have found it an almost impossible task to do.  I have never been ashamed of my adoption, in fact I have always been extremely proud of  my adoption and have never tried to hide it.  It is part of who I am and I could not have asked for more loving and caring parents who gave me every opportunity they could.
They were always proud of me and of how I coped with challenges of living and working with Cerebral Palsy (CP).
My Mum over the years became disillusioned.  For many years I have been treated like an outsider in my own family and it still continues after her death in 2014.  On many occasions she tried to tackle the issues but never got anyway but in her heart of hearts she knew what they were.
She always wanted my brother and me to be close and as children we were but that closeness died some years ago.  She hope that he would be there for me when they were no longer around but that is not going to happen, it's just as well I have such wonderful friends who have become my family.
It is funny how things happen and I believe that the universe plays a part in destiny. I apparently have a great-niece called Grace who I only found out about yesterday (8th) who was born five weeks ago but no one thought I like to know; but I'm not family I forgot.

Today I got the biggest insult of all through the post and that was an invitation to a reception to celebrate his marriage.  Being as I am his only sister and I am the sole representative of parents who are no longer here. I just assumed it would be the full invitation.  I have RSVP to say I cannot attend because I am unable to find suitable disabled hotel accommodation nearby and as I cannot travel long distances (he lives 200 miles away)  I cannot go but it would have been nice to have been asked.  That just affirms  everything that my mum knew and what I have known for many years but didn't want to.
I have my family, my friends who love and care for me and accept me for who I am and that is all I need.  They do not see adoption or disability as a stigma but I cannot say the same for my family.  I just have to move on from this otherwise it will eat me up.  I have so much in life to look forward to and so much positivity around me.  I don't know what the future holds but I know I am loved by all my friends.

My Handbag Collection

For as far back as I can remember I have always had a mini obsession with handbags.  They don't have to be expensive (but they often are!), but have to be interesting enough to grab my attention in their design, colour and material.  
I do have a particular interest in vintage handbags especially the Art Deco period and I have been able to purchase a couple of original 1930's handbags from a vintage clothing and accessories shop near to where I live called "Past Caring".  It was established in1988 and sells authentic vintage items specialising in 1900's - 1960's clothing, accessories and jewellry. 

The first of my handbags was a 1930's evening bag which was in near mint condition and is covered in silver gelatin sequins which I knew nothing about until I did some research online.  I discovered that in the 1930's a process to electroplate gelatin produced a lighter-weight version of the metal disc.  There is one problem with the gelatin sequins and that is that they disolve if come in contact with water or even sweat from a hand.  As you can imagine this bag only comes out on high days and holidays and I ihave used it once on my last cruise and it survived intact.  It is one of my favourite evening bags just because it has survived so long and is in wonderful condition and it shows that someone loved and cared for it because it is still here seventy odd years later and I intend to be its custodian for my lifetime.  
Having such a wonderful vintage clothes shop in my vicinity is deadly as I can't resist just popping in to see if there is anything new that will interest me.  My second Art Deco handbag was also purchased from the same shop in March 2015.  The bag is Black satin and has beautiful floral designs on the front and reverse in sequins and pearls.  It is in excellent condition for its age and again this bag was much loved by its previous owner and went on my last cruise, it is a bag that can go with several outfits.  
Over the past year I have popped into "Past Caring" and from time to time I have picked up the odd item but nothing major until yesterday (16th March) when I was in Holt having lunch with friends and we thought we would just pop in to the shop.  At first nothing caught my eye until an Art Deco bag was pointed out to me by my friend Karen and if it had not been brown (it looked black in the display) I would have bought it. 

Yellow vintage bag with Kate Spade Bag

However, sitting on a corner display was a lovely bright yellow box bag made from rafia with silver metal and detail and pale green interior.  It is from the 1960's and I know that is a bit later than what I usually like but it is fun and quirky and in near mint condition, it does not have any labelling but is extremely well made and has obviously been well looked after.  It is more a day bag, a summer bag and it makes me smile so it is definately cruise bound.  

Not all bags that I cruise with are vintage and I have just acquired a new clutch bag form Accessorize which is ivory in colour and exquisitely embellished with faux pearls, jewels, sequins and scores of beads.  It also has a wrist strap.  I first saw this bag a few days back in-store but it was damaged and sadly this is often the case with this retailer and so what I have learnt to do is to order online and have items delivered.  My new bag arrived in perfect condition and is another addition to my cruise bag collection.  
My last and final bag is my Kate Spade bag which is now sixteen years old and was purchased from SAKS on Fith Avenue when I was in New York in 2000 with my Mum, it was a gift from her.  It is a beautiful deep red colour and is only used on special occasions and taking on a cruise seems to fit the bill.  This bag can be used as both a day bag or evening bag and adapts to any occasion.
I could go on and on about my handbag collection, I have had so many over years that I have lost count but I wanted to share just a few that have a special place in my heart.  Some are expensive but others arn't it is their design, colour or even history that attracts me.

Your Cruise Wardrobe

Having a good and versitile wardrobe is essential in making a good cruise into a fantastic cruise.  Everyone has their own idea of what makes a good wardrobe and for me it is having a good selection of formal gowns, cocktail dresses, evening casual, day wear and beachwear to choose from.  It should include classic, timeless designs that can be worn again and again.  It has taken us around eight years to create and grow our cruise wardrobe and it does include several formal gowns from our first cruise which we still used to this day. 

New bag for 2016 cruise

Our wardrobe also includes a large selection of evening bags and on a 14-day cruise I will normally take 3-5 while Karen takes 1-2 staple bags.  When it comes to bags there is no right or wrong but what just suits you.  
Shoes is something that you need to think about.  For evening wear we usually have 2-3 pairs each.  When it comes to day wear I would suggest you consider what activities you are planning on doing.  If you are going to do a lot of walking off ship I would suggest you wear an old pair of comfy shoes, sandals or trainers that you know are not going to give you blisters.  
It is now just under 8 weeks until our next cruise and having a cruise rail or wardrobe makes life so much easier.  By this time you should know how many formal nights your cruise will have and on a 14 night cruise and there will typically be 4 formal and 10 evening casual.  One of the formal nights is always a black and white night.  Many ladies typically have a black dress and use white accessories such as a handbag, jacket, shoes or gloves.  Formal attire for men it is a penquin suit (tuxedo), dress uniform or national dress.  
For me the dressing up is a something I enjoy doing and look forward to the formal nights.  If you do not want to adhere to the ships dress codes you will not normally be allowed to dine in the restaurants and will have to eat in the self-service food courts.  There are several cruise lines that have abolish formal dress code and they are:  

• Azmara Club Cruises  

• NCL

• Oceania Cruises  

• Windstar Cruises 

Everyone has their own idea of what is an appropriate dress for evening casual and when I have been asked my advice is to wear an outfit that you feel comfortable in, having eating room is essential.  Wear an outfit that you would normally wear if you were going to a nice restaurant that would be my advice to first time cruisers.  
What clothes you pack are often defined by the type of cruise and destinations you will be visiting.  Sunny destinations like the Caribbean you will pack more beachwear and somewhere like the Baltic you may pack more day wear.  My advice would be that if you are cruising during the summer months I would take a mix of both because there are sea days on whatever cruise you choose.  Also be aware of what clothes are approprate when visiting different countries.  Shorts and skimpy tops may not be appropriate when visiting religious sites.
When we started cruising we didn't know what a cruise wardrobe was but it is something that you quickly pick up especially if you intend to continue cruising.  It does take time to built up your wardrobe but once you started it does become an invaluable asset.  It is not just the dresses or suits but it is also the accessories that can embellish your outfits. 

Just stepped up gear!

Today I feel as if we have stepped up a gear in preparation for our cruise A615. Most of the important information is already in the online cruise peronaliser but there was just one or two things that we have to complete before P&O will issue our E-tickets in approximately five weeks time.
Travel insurance details was one thing we had to input, although we had purchased it many weeks ago it always seems to be the last piece of document details that we actually put on.  It could possibly be because P&O ask for a telephone number and from what we can see there could be three so we have plumped for a main number.
I don't know about you but I create a folder for every cruise that we go on.  I print off every piece of paperwork that relates to the current cruise and that includes the travel insurance documents, booking confirmation, Maps, port information, E-tickets plus much more.  I believe you can never have enough information.

Epicurean Restaurant on Azura

The other thing that we wanted to do in advance was to reserve a table for dinner in Azura's Epicurean Restaurant, as this reataurant is popular it is best to make a reservation before your cruise.  We usually like to book a table mid-cruise so for us that is 11th June.  However, that night there is a Euro 2016 football match between England v Russia and as we will be leaving St Peterburg that night we assume that the match will be shown on board; I will be suprised if it isn't.  Because we want to see the match we were sitting last night working out the time difference between England and Russia as +3 hours which means that we have plenty of time to have dinner before kick-off which we have worked out as 11pm (Russian time).  There is a additional surcharge of £28.00pp which is well worth it and they apply your teir discount on top which does make it even less.  We have dined in the Epicurean Restaurant on board Britannia and it was amazing.  The one to one attention and the food ideas and the way your food is presented makes the surcharge well worth it and I would highly recommend it.
The other thing we wanted to do is look for an excursion that let us do our own thing and we found one in Copenhagen which is "free time in three sites".  I think it is self explanatory and we booked that as well.  I'm not sure what else we may book we will do some more research first I think before deciding. 

 

Suites, mini suites and mobility scooters!!

I suppose this post is continuing on from my last one about disabiity and accessibility on board P&O's fleet.  I have previously mentioned that I had been told that when Carnival reshuffled it was decided that a dedicated disability team was no longer required and that their customer service could answer any disability related questions; I disagree with this decision and can prove it does not work.
I believe it was around the time of the reshuffle that P&O decided that disabled passengers who used a mobility scooter could no longer take then on-board unless they had an accessible cabin or another cabin that was deemed suitable and in most cases these are non adapted suites and mini suites.  The reason for this decision I understand was purely for health and safety.
I am not a fan of the mobility scooter but I feel that it is unfair on passengers who use a scooter to move around and wish to stay loyal to P&O.  I believe that their choice of cabin has been away and has obviously restricted their choice of ship and cruise as many of them cannot afford the price of suites and mini suites.
Arcadia, does not have any accessible accommodation that is suitable for a full-time wheelchair or mobility scooter users as none of their cabins are large enough to manoeuvre around.  However, they do have 51 non adapted cabins that are suites and mini suites. The ship also has 11 partially adapted cabins in grades from suites to larger inside cabins.
Aurora, does have 22 cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from balcony cabins to inside cabins.  The ship also offers 30 non adapted cabins that are suitable for mobility scooters in suite and mini suite grades.
Sister ships the Azura and Ventura each offer 31 adapted cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in cabin grades from a suite to inside cabins.  Both ships also offer 27 non adapted suites which are suitable for mobility scooter users.
Oriana only has 8 outside cabins that are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users. However, she has 24 non adapted suites and mini suites that are suitable for mobility scooter users.
Oceana offers19 adapted cabins which are suitable for full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from a mini suite to inside cabin.  She has 38 non adapted suites and mini suites that are suitable for use by mobility scooters users.
Britannia, P&O's flagship offers 37 adapted cabins that are suitable for both full-time wheelchair and mobility scooter users in grades from suites to inside cabins.  They also offer 44 non adapted suites that are suitable for mobility scooters users.
Any passenger who is disabled knows that adapted cabins sell out very quickly, usually as soon as a cruise goes on sale and as adapted cabns are very limited in number it means that they would have to swallow the cost of higher grade cabins and suites or go with another cruise company. 
When P&O introduced this new rule I was so furious that they were taking away a passengers choice of cabin and I actually moved away from P&O even though I use a manual wheelchair and the new rule did not apply to me. I went and did several cruises with RCI.  RCI do not have any rules regarding the use of scooters and we never found them to be a pest while on board "Indy".

Open wardrobe on Britannia

What does bother me is that this could be the start of a trend; starting with scooters.  At the moment I am able to manage in a standard cabin with a shower and my manual wheelchair folds small enough to fit in the open wardrobe area.  I do not require space to manoeuvre a wheelchair around the cabin.  When booking a cruise I go no higher in grade than a balcony for the simple reason that the higher grades often come with a bathtub and overhead shower.  I am unable to get in and out of a bathtub safely.  So if P&O brought in a rule regarding manual wheelchairs I would not be able to stay loyal to P&O and would not hesitate in going back to RCI or another cruise line.
I know this topic often comes up on boards and forums and I do feel sorry for mobility scooter users especially when some scooters fold up as small as a manual whelchairs and yet they are still not allowed on-board P&O's fleet.  If I was a scooter owner I would want answers as it does seem a little bit unfair.  If they were to say no manual wheelchairs on-board I believe this would be one step too far; something I don't think they can afford to do. 
I am only able to use a manual wheelchair because I have friends who can push me when I get too tired but if I had no one to push me I would have to rely on a mobility scooter and I feel that my choices should not be compromised should I use a scooter in the future.  It would be nice if one day this rule on mobility scooters could be reversed but I doubt that will ever happen.  I have been on four of the ships in the P&O fleet and they all have something different that makes them special and unique and will remain loyal but loyalty is a two way thing. 

Disability Factsheet?

Last year after returniing from our cruise on P&O's Britannia I had a few comments and suggestions that I felt P&O needed to hear that could improve accessibility not only on this ship but also other ships in the fleet.
Whilst on our 14 day cruise I wondered at times if I was the only disabled passenger who felt that there was a lack of information regarding accessibility around the ship but after my friend met a struggling visually impaired passenger struggling with the stairs between Deck 17 and Deck 18 apparently not.  This meeting happened nearing the end of the cruise and this passenger was not aware that there was a disabled lift that would take her between these decks and said that it was a shame that noone had told her of this lifts existance at the beginning of the cruise.  This passenger could so easily had fallen down these stairs.

Disabled lift on Deck 17

This lift was not origionally indicated on deck plans for Britannia in 2015 it just showed an empty space.  I only found out about its existance because of my dogged determination.  When I book a cruise I research everything that I can including the ships deck plans and from looking at Britannia's I could see that the lifts stopped at Deck 17 and that access to Deck 18 was via stairs.  I had read somewhere online that she was fully accessible so therefore there must be a way up to Deck 18.  I called P&O's customer service as I thought they would know for sure.  I have to say that they have some of the rudest customer service staff that I have ever come across.  I had to make several calls before someone explained that they have a disabled team who you cannot talk to but they would try and find out if someone knew about access.  The person did come back and explained to me exactly where to locate a lift.  She also told me that they did not want to make it public knowledge because they did not want all and sundry using it.

When I was on Britannia one of the first things we did was to check that the information was correct and that the lift was there.  As you can see from my photographs it does exist.  As you can clearly see it does not look like a lift door and most people mistook it for a crew entrance; that's why we got a few weird looks from fellow passengers.
I have sailed on Azura (2010) and Ventura (2011) and we are sailing again on Azura in June this this year and like Britannia their deck plans do not show that there is a platform lift between Azura's Aqua Deck and Sun Deck and Ventura's Sun Deck and Sports Deck.  I was told by a fellow passenger on Azura in 2010 that there was a small platform lift for the use of disabled guests. 

I unfortunately do not have photographs but this image is representative of what it looks like.  This lift can be found on both ships if you walk around Breakers Bar and round towards the Ivory Suite you will see a small glass lift that is large enough for one wheelchair and one standing person.
As I have previously said on returning home after my cruise on Britannia I contacted P&O with comments and suggestions  about accessibility on the ship and I have to say that I did got pushed from pillar to post with no answers and offered £100 OBC for my next cruise for my trouble.  Unsatisfied with the treatment I received from P&O's customer care I found an email for Christopher Edgington (Marketing Director, P&O) and started communicating with him.  Eventually I was passed onto a person who is a disability advisor for P&O and she has told me herself that she does not have any contact with customers as their customer service people could answer all questions relating to disability and accessibility.  I told her that was an error in judgement because I had tried and they know very little.    Something like knowing the position of disabled lifts on their fleet of ships is not rocket science. 
One suggestion I had was that P&O could produced a factsheet for every ship in their fleet detailing information such as the position of lifts for use by disabled passengers. A factsheet for the ship that a person is sailing on could be emailed to them once they have  submitted a disability questionnaire.  I have to say that I was told that this would be costly?  How much does it cost to produce a word document that details ship information and is them emailed out. Answer is minimal.  It is not as if the information is waiting for you in your cabin when you board.  The only contact I ever get when I am on board is contact from the excursions team trying to sell me an over priced accessible tour.
In conclustion I have to say that when I first started crusing there was a dedicated disability number that you could call and their team was very knowledgable and helpful but as I have been told that when P&O reshuffled several years ago they felt that a dedicated disability team was not required as their customer service could answer disability related questions.  I strongly disagree.  I am very passionate about equality and the more I see that is unjust the more I will complain, I may be disabled and what I may lack in movement I make up for in voice.